We put a lot of stock into major relationship milestones like becoming exclusive, moving in together, getting engaged and so on. While these major things do bring you and your partner closer together, it’s the small day-to-day things that really make up your relationship. It’s the laughs, the conversations, the touches, and even the small arguments here and there. These are the things that help you form a strong bond. If you want to form an unbreakable bond, experts say there are a few things you and your partner should try doing before bed.
As Andrea Amour, Founder at UpDate Coaching tells Bustle, an unbreakable bond can only be made if you and your partner show solidarity. It’s about going to bed at night knowing that you and your partner are on the same team. “Solidarity demonstrates respect and trust which are foundational for any relationship,” she says. Without respect and trust, your relationship isn’t going to go very far.
You may not really realize it, but the things you do with your partner before bed can do a lot for your relationship. You can still find ways to show your partner love, support, and affection right before you go to sleep. So if you want to form an unbreakable bond with your significant other, here are some things you can do before bed, according to experts.
1Talk About The Highs And Lows Of Your Day
“Understanding and encouraging your partner’s uniqueness and individuality is key to maintaining interest and intrigue for years,” Isabella Frappier, holistic women’s wellness coach and intimacy expert, tells Bustle. Talking about the highs and lows of your day also encourages self-reflection and personal development, which she says helps to enrich romantic partnerships.
2Make Skin-To-Skin Contact
If you want to create that unbreakable bond, use biology to your advantage. As Frappier says, “Skin to skin contact with a partner increases oxytocin levels (the bonding hormone) and boosts serotonin and dopamine levels, which help to create happier individuals with lower stress levels.” When you’re happier, it’s much easier to connect with your partner. So get physically intimate, but don’t limit yourself to just sex. Kissing, hugging, and cuddling up to each other work just as well.
3Gaze Into Each Other’s Eyes For A Few Moments
Before you both doze off for the night, take a moment to make meaningful eye contact and make a breath connection. “Just three deep shared breaths with eye gazing can increase relaxation and connection,” Frappier says. It also serves to help partner’s feel like they’re sharing the same “energy.”
4Just Be In Each Other’s Presence
Sometimes connecting emotionally through conversation and touch can sometimes be over-stimulating or disappointing, psychoanalyst Dr. Claudia Luiz, tells Bustle. It’s important to know that you don’t need to put so much pressure on yourselves to connect. Sitting in silence or doing the same activity together like watching the same show or reading a book can be just as bonding as other more “conventional connecting tactics.”
5Share Your Goals And Find Ways To Support Each Other
As Amour says, you should share your goals with your partner before bed no matter how big or small they may be. Then, find ways to tackle them together. For example, if your partner is unhappy with their job, you can take some time out to search online for new opportunities together. Or if your partner is trying to reach some exercise goals, remind them to set an alarm on their phone to get up early for a quick workout to start the day. “When you treat one person’s goals as both of your goals, you truly show that you support and stand by your partner,” Amour says. That’s the type of thing that can really help you and your partner maintain a strong bond.
6Do Something Thoughtful For Each Other
Before you turn in for the night, try to do one small nice thing for your partner. For instance, if you notice that work was really tiring for your partner, you can pick up their chores for the night. You can even create a fun little routine that’s unique for the two of you. “One of our married friends told us that he ‘makes his wife’s toothbrush’ before bed every night, which is thoughtful (and so adorable), so we’ve started doing that, too,” Amour says. Small acts like these show that you are your partner are one team, which is helpful in building that unbreakable bond.
7Go To Bed Together
Make it a point to actually go to bed together. “Bedtime is super intimate and particularly important for people who have a physical love language,” Amour says. Besides, snuggling up to each other is a great way to show affection after a long day.
Every couple has their own bedtime routine, so pick and choose what works for you. As long as you’re doing things that are helping to maintain your connection, you’re going to have an unbreakable bond.