In the beginning of a relationship, it is usually all rainbows and butterflies. You don’t even know what to do with all the butterflies. This part of dating can be really thrilling, but can often lead to missing red flags at the beginning of a relationshipthat are important warning signs of things to come. Everything your new partner does often becomes the cutest thing you’ve ever seen before the honeymoon stage ends. But it’s important to make sure you’re keeping an eye out for red flags—regardless of all those butterflies.
Sometimes, with the new relationship rose-colored glasses on, we don’t see those nasty indications of jealousy or anger initially. We get too busy falling in love and posting photos with cutesy captions on Instagram to realize the person we are dating just waved a giant, flashing red flag in our faces. We overlook these tiny concerns because we want this joyful feeling to last. However, these little concerns may turn into big problems down the road. I’m not saying you should be overly critical and create unrealistically high standards, because no one is perfect. But I amsuggesting to get in touch with those gut feelings you might have in the beginning that we tend to push aside.
In case you aren’t sure, here are a few of the biggest red flags when it comes to dating someone new.
1. Work Is 24/7
Loving what you do is one thing—but spending 24/7 doing your job is another. It’s important to have an appropriate work/life balance. If your partner is too much into work, then you run the risk of getting pushed to the side. So, if you notice that your date has canceled multiple times on you because of work related incidences, then you might have a workaholic on your hands. Furthermore, if a date scenario resembles you, your partner and your partner’s phone and/or laptop, it sounds like a red flag to me.
2. Too Much Alcohol
It’s hard to know when you’re dating someone who is an addict, especially if that person hides it well. If your partner is in denial, it might be even harder you for you to be aware of a problem. Some signs may be that every date has to involve alcohol, or you find yourself being your partner’s designated driver quite frequently. If your significant other can’t hold his or her liquor in front of you, you can only imagine what happens not in front of you.
BTW, Here’s 5 dating tips only your bartender knows:Bustle on YouTube
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3. Commitment Phobia
Sometimes when you’re dating a commitment-phobe, you tend to get a gut feeling that things aren’t exactly the way you want them to be. You may feel that you are giving just a little bit more than your partner. He or she might be hard to make plans with, they aren’t making space for you in their life, and they tend to avoid defining the relationship. At some point, it will be up to you to decide if this behavior is worth the relationship.
People can put on a good front in the beginning of a relationship. However, if the person you are dating is disrespectful, you will find out eventually—and it will be hard to deny. One way to spot this trait early on is if your partner is rude to waiters or other people in service industries. Another dead giveaway and a sign to run the other way? He or she might make jokes at your expense—you know, the kind that are never, ever funny. Also keep an eye out to see how he or she speaks to his/her parents.
5. Selfish Tendencies
This is maybe the easiest red flag to see. Anytime you feel as if your partner is thinking about himself/herself only, you’ve probably got a selfish person on your hands. If your other half doesn’t think about his or her other half, then this may not be the most perfect pairing. This will show up if he or she is selfish with his or her money, time, space, etc.
It’s hard to know if your partner is a green-eyed monster right away. Sometimes it comes off as caring or concerned, and then all of a sudden your significant other is going through your phone when you’re not looking. Some signs could be him or her being overly aggressive with questions about where you are and who you are with. And if your partner is telling you what to do, how to dress, or making other decisions for you—dump him/her. Fast.