How to make your ex miss you? First you need to ask yourself why exactly you want him to miss you in the first place, and when you’ve got that figured out… you can start doing something about it.
If you’ve just been dumped or if you were the one doing the dumping, once a certain amount of time has passed, things start getting a bit clearer, and the reasons for the breakup start swimming to the surface.
You may find yourself in a particularly low place right now where all you need and want is someone to just be there. You’re not used to being alone and quite frankly – it sucks! So you’re looking for the quickest way out of this lonely predicament.
It’s a funny thing… while you’re in a relationship, you don’t even realize how much you take some things for granted… until you lose them.
Take his company for example. You’re so used to having your man right by your side that going through stuff on your own is no longer an option. You always had that rock in him ,and you just knew that no matter how shitty things got, you weren’t alone.PauseUnmuteLoaded: 100.00%Remaining Time -0:18FullscreenX
And now that you’re left to your own devices, you just don’t know how to cope.
You really want to be a strong, self-sufficient woman who doesn’t need a man to feel whole, but the reality is a bit different.
You are strong, and you are completely capable of being on your own… but it just doesn’t feel right.
It’s not necessarily that you need him by your side, you want him there. It’s like a part of you is missing. You feel that gaping hole so profoundly, and it’s getting harder and harder to breathe.
Relax. This is all part of the process of grieving over something that meant a great deal to you.
After all, this person has been by your side for a substantial amount of time. Losing them feels like losing a limb, so give yourself time to grieve properly and reassess if getting back together sometime in the future is a viable option.
And while you’re taking your time with that, the best thing you can do is make your ex miss you like crazy.
It doesn’t necessarily need to be for the purposes of getting back together (but very well could be). It can simply be a coping mechanism for yourself to make him see what a good thing he’s lost and make you feel like it really did mean something to him.
Not everyone is going to understand this, but that’s okay. You’re the one who was in that relationship, and you’re the one who is left with all of these residual feelings.
A lot of people, particularly those who see everything in black and white would ask, “Why would you even want your ex to miss you?” Some would say, “Don’t even bother. Just let it be, and let him go. Why do you even care about everything you guys have been through?”
And while that makes perfect sense in a world where everything is black and white, most of us live in the gray area. And most of us have a hard time letting go completely, especially in those early stages after a breakup. It’s really difficult to make peace with what happened and accept that it’s all over now.
If we want to be completely honest with ourselves, no matter how the relationship ended, we want our exes to miss us. And reasons for wanting this are numerous. They usually depend on why and how the relationship ended in the first place.
There are some breakups that leave us wanting to fix things. Maybe we think that we were more responsible for the breakup and that we could’ve done some things differently. Or maybe we never wanted things to end, but for one reason or another, the end came anyway.
Then there are those messy breakups that come with toxic relationships. You yourself know that that relationship wasn’t good for you. You know that you are better off, yet you find yourself missing those happy moments at your weak points. You find yourself wanting him to miss you even though you don’t want him back.
In both case scenarios, we want them to miss us.
In one, after the relationship has ended, we just want our ex to miss us in order to patch things up and get back together. We’ve seen the error of our ways, and we’re ready to make things right.
And in the other case scenario, we want them to miss us because we want to show them exactly how good they had it with us and then just blew it all away. We want them to know that we are better off without them. We want to get even.
When we know the exact reasons why we want our exes to miss us, there is a question of how.
There is the right and wrong way of doing things.
The first thing you want to make sure of is that you are headed the right way. You don’t want to come off as needy or desperate. You don’t want to put all your cards on the table. You want to remain somewhat mysterious.
If you want your ex to miss you, you want to make sure you’re doing it exactly in a way that is going to drive him absolutely mad and make you look like the amazing, unbothered goddess that you are.
You want him to think about you as much as possible. You want certain songs on the radio to make him crave your closeness. You want him to dream of bumping into you by accident on the street.
This is all possible, but you’ve got to play it smart.
Chances are, he’s already pining after you as it is, and he’s just buried it deeply because he’s afraid to let you see how sorry he feels for letting you go.
Regardless of what we think, not all guys are macho dudes with zero capability of feeling broken and sad. They suffer just as much as we do. They’re just better at hiding it is all.
If you really want him back, he may already be halfway there. You’ve just got to play along and see how much effort you really need to put into this.
If you play your cards right, the outcome could very well end up being exactly what you have envisioned.
Be that a rekindled romance where you’ve both learned to appreciate each other more and you are completely invested in preserving this relationship this time around. Or be that making him see what he’s missing by showing him you’re living your best life without him by your side.
It’s completely up to you.
If you’re finally ready to give this a go, here are 10 pieces of advice on how to make your ex miss you like crazy.
How to make your ex miss you: 10 easy ways to get it done!
1. Give yourself time
Never get ahead of yourself. Give yourself time to process what just happened. Why did the relationship end, and are you sure you want him back in the first place?
Only when you are clear and one hundred percent sure of what you really want can you make some moves.
Keep your cool. Never make rash and quick decisions. In difficult situations, you should think clearly, and strategize your every move. Time is your friend here. If you want to make your ex miss you, learn to use it to your advantage.
2. Zero communication
The tricky thing here is that you want to make him miss you, but you don’t want to make him think you miss him. Confusing, I know.
But if we want our exes to miss us, we can’t be blunt about it. You don’t want to come off as a desperate ex that texts and calls every few seconds.
Zero communication in the first few weeks or even a month will give you and him time to process things. He needs time—time to miss you. Giving him space even when he initiates the contact is the right way to go.
Reacting to his every move sends a message that you have nothing better to do than put everything on hold for him. That’s not the message you want to be sending.
By waiting some time to rebuild the contact, you are making him yearn for those moments when you could call and text each other freely.
It will make him miss those days and miss you in his life. It will create a sense of mystery and keep him wondering what you’re up to, and that is exactly what it is your aiming for!
3. Be selective with your social media posts
Social media gives you a great opportunity to manipulate things to your advantage. And no, that doesn’t mean putting heart-breaking songs and grief-stricken status updates.
Putting pictures of somebody new in your life to provoke jealousy is not the right move either. It will most probably send the message you never cared, and you moved on too quickly.
Social media posts should give you an opportunity to convey everything you want to say without making it too obvious. So, posting a few pictures with your friends or sharing some optimistic song you like or an article that moved you would be the right choice.
Your smiling face will show him that you are happy even when he is not around, and that’s something that he won’t be so comfortable with. If he is a good guy, he will miss that smile in his life. If he is toxic, that smile will hurt him like nothing else. Life goes on even without them.
4. Be careful what you say to mutual friends
You know that no matter how close you are to some of your mutual friends, the odds are that he feels the same way. If they are telling you where he is and what he is up to, chances are that the information goes in the other direction, too.
Reveal a little but not too much. Save your secrets for your true friends, and leave him guessing about your life. Being a bit mysterious will make him miss you more.
5. Don’t act weird if you bump into him
Sure, bumping into him is something that will make you uncomfortable. The funniest thing about it is that you will probably see your ex when you least want to—in your worst edition with a messy bun on top of your head and a bloated face that’s only been up for half an hour.
The important thing here is not to sweat it. Act like he is just an old friend you haven’t seen in a while. If you set your mind in that mode, you will have no problem initiating small talk.
Make sure to ask him how he is doing. Your interest in his well-being will additionally confuse him. Try to look unaffected by his presence.
He’ll end up scratching his head, unsure of how easy-going and chill you are about this uncommon situation. He’ll most probably feel a bit shitty that you seem so well without him while he’s struggling in private.
No doubt will he keep replaying it in his head for the rest of the day, imagining all the things he should’ve said instead of just standing there like a doofus trying to look cool and collected.
6. Build yourself up
Start small. Change your style or your hair color. There is a reason why most women decide that they need some change in their lives after a breakup, and their looks are the easiest and the best to start with.
After that, start working on yourself for yourself. Building confidence and self-love will make you happier. You don’t just want fake smiles on social media posts—you want those smiles to be genuine.
When you are done building yourself up, you will see if you really ever needed him in your life. And in any case, he will long for the woman you have become in spite of everything you’ve been through.
After all these things, he should be the one initiating the contact and trying to get back into your life.
Giving him space and time and letting him know that you are able to make yourself happy even when he is not around will reveal your self-sufficiency and make him wonder why he lost you in the first place.
But be careful and make sure you really want him back. Sometimes what is broken isn’t meant to be fixed.
7. Tell him how happy you are
If you’re still communicating with your ex via text of any type of instant message, make sure to point out how great life has been lately.
It doesn’t mean that it has to be true. He just has to think that it is. When breakups occur, guys usually expect us to crawl into a lonely hole and cry our eyes out while overdoing it with the wine and Ben & Jerry’s.
Show him how different it is for you. Tell him you’ve found a new hobby that’s been filling your life with a purpose and a sense of fulfilment, and you’ve been feeling really great.
Make sure to always be upbeat and perky when talking to him (just don’t overdo it), and don’t let him see a single tear. Trust me, this is going to freak him out big time.
He’ll be wondering how come you’ve managed to be so okay in such a short period of time, and if he even meant anything to you. God knows he’s nowhere near where you are.
And this will draw him closer to you. This positive attitude and your optimism about life is going to remind him of what an amazing, fun, and capable girl he’s let go, and he’ll wish to get you back.
See? You practically don’t even need to do anything drastic. Just keep it happy and joyful, and he’ll find his way back to you. And then it’s up to you whether you want to rekindle the flame or keep moving forward knowing your mission here is done.
8. Expand your social circle
It seems that whenever we’re really focused on someone and persistently trying to make something happen, it just keeps getting harder and harder to get it done.
This is why your best game plan here is to step away for a while, and focus on meeting new people.
Naturally, it’s vital that you keep the support system around you that you’ve had for years and nurture it at all times, but also let yourself expand your horizons as well.
When you meet new people, you automatically have new plans and new things marked on your calendar which leaves very little time to be hung up on your ex!
And don’t think for a second he won’t notice you mingling with a new crowd. This will make him a little uneasy because he’ll know that you can easily find someone new to replace him, and he’ll end up wondering if breaking up was a good idea in the first place.
This will draw him closer to you as he will end up a little on the jealous side, seeing you hang out with your new friends and enjoying your life like he never existed.
9. Unfriend him on social media
Social media is a great way to stay-up-to-date with people you care about without having to text and call at all times to see what they’re up to. It’s just too easy to see anything you want with just one click on your mouse.
And if you’re still friends with your ex on any of your social media accounts, you might want to consider clicking the ‘unfriend’ button.
Why? Because what he can’t see will end up killing him on the inside. He will no longer have access to your private thoughts, your status updates, your photos, and most importantly – seeing WHO you’ve been spending your time with.
And this will be a nightmare for him. His imagination is going to run wild. He’ll keep imagining you with a new man and thinking that is the reason you no longer want him on your friend list. And it won’t feel good at all.
By not being able to see what you’re up to on a daily basis, he’s going to seriously think about reconciling because he’s just going to miss seeing your face too freaking much.
He wasn’t aware of it before because he was so used to seeing you at least in his online world, but this is going to be too much. If you ask me – this is hands down the best way to make him miss you.
10. Don’t acknowledge him on his birthday or any of the holidays
After a breakup, one of the most fucked up things you have to deal with is whether or not you should wish your ex a happy birthday on his special day and also on all those holidays that are looming.
You know his day of birth by heart ,and it’s only natural for you to text him or even call on that day because it’s something you’re both so used to. But what if this time you suddenly stopped this tradition?
He’s used to getting attention from you on all those important days, and it’s never been a question as to whether or not he’s going to hear from you, until now.
If you really want your ex to miss you, you have to hit him where it hurts the most (only metaphorically).
Do not text him on his birthday. Do not wish him a Merry Christmas, and don’t even think about calling him while you’re buzzed on New Year’s!
And when you’re the only person he hasn’t heard from on all those special dates when you used to be his first call… he’s going to feel a hole in his chest.
It’s finally going to hit him. You’re really, truly, out of his life, and he’ll be beyond bummed about it. There are no more cute, witty remarks about how old he’s getting on his birthday, no more Christmases with you by his side, and no more spending New Years together.
And it’s going to suck. He’s going to miss your presence and your infectious smile. He’s going to miss your positive, happy-go-lucky attitude, and your long hugs. He’s going to miss seeing your name light up his screen if you’re not celebrating together.
And guess what all that means? He’s going to be missing you a lot! And once he realizes that you’re the only one he wants to see and the only one he wants to hear from, he’s going to come crawling back.
He’s going to want to get back together after finally realizing what an idiot he was for letting you go.
And you’ll be the only one who decides whether this is something you want to embark on again or not. Whatever you decide – follow your gut feeling. It’s never going to fail you.